Librari[d]an

My sister Jen and I always wanted to have our own televised cooking show called “Obscene Cuisine”. We hoped to purvey recipes that seemed disgusting, but ultimately culminated in surprisingly delicious foods. Our pilot dishes ranged from gelatin filled with a sundry list of reprehensibles to deep-fried sticks of butter. So now you know why this feature is not elegantly entitled “L’amour de la gastronomie”. Obscene Cuisine is about my culinary misadventures. Epicures, beware!

:: 306 Paul’s Vanilla Wafers ::

2/3 cup butter
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
2 tablespoons milk
1 1/4 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla

Cream the butter with an electric mixer. This is easiest if it’s at room temperature. (Or you can microwave it in 10 second bursts, on the lowest power level, until it’s soft.) Then add the sugar and remaining wet ingredients: well-beaten egg, milk, and vanilla.

Combine the other dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, salt) in a separate bowl, making sure that they are well sifted together. Mix dry into wet in a few, manageable amounts. At this point the wafer dough should be rather viscous.

Prepare the baking sheet(s) with a light application of non-stick cooking spray. Drop the dough by half-teaspoons onto the sheet. (Making the wafers any larger will result in a burnt bottom and under-cooked top.) Be sure to give the little buggers room to spread. Bake for approximately 10 minutes, or until the edges begin to brown. (You’ll get a feel for when they’re done after the first batch or two.)

The last time I made this recipe I used raw cane sugar, whole wheat flour, rice milk, and added some nutmeg and cinnamon. This resulted in ambiguously spiced alien pods rather than vanilla wafers. (The color was cool and the taste was okay, but they also had a weird texture.) This time I followed the recipe faithfully (save for adding more vanilla) and the wafers turned out as advertised. However, some might find the taste is lacking; after all, it is just butter, vanilla, sugar, and flour.

:: Bibliography ::

Harris, Jessie W., and Elisabeth Lacey Speer. Everyday Foods, edited by Alice F. Blood. (Publishing city unknown), (state unknown): Houghton Mifflin Company, 1941. Page 503.

P.S. Isn’t it awesome that the editor’s last name is Blood?