Guacamole (Obscene Cuisine, Recipe No. 9)

Feliz Cinco de Mayo! For the celebration of Mexico’s triumph over the French troops at the Battle of Puebla (don’t worry, the poor frogs weren’t really stampeded by cattle, haha!) I have decided to make a delicious, all American food: Guacamole!

Two days ago, at a rather absurd and expensive party on the NorthSide, I was talking with catering chef Greg ’bout guac. I’ve always had it in my little head that avocados require beaucoup fric ($$$) to acquire, which is why I don’t buy them. In most cases this holds true: the devil Whole Foods, the wonderful but misguided East End Food Co-op, the pedestrian Giant Eagle, etc. are all about swindling – à la Rumpelstiltskin – the everyday shopper. According to Greg, the ever-pragmatic ShurSave – a local supermarket chain with a location within spitting distance of my humble abode – has them for cheap. He was right! On 4 May 2008 I got four for less than four dollars… holler!

This here recipe is “adapted” from Heidi Swanson’s Indian Curry & Cumin Guacamole. I say adapted in quotes because after stripping down Swanson’s recipe, I find that it served only as a very loose base for my own. (However, be sure to read her recipe for tips on recognizing ripe v. overripe avocados. I found it very useful, and was delighted by the condition of my purchase.)

:: Guacamole ::

1 small white onion
1 clove garlic, minced
4 avocados
2 large, firm tomatoes
1 lime
cilantro to taste
salt to taste

1. Chop the onion. Scoop out the avocado flesh, trying to keep it as intact as possible. Throw them, with the garlic, in a bowl.
2. Cut the tomatoes into quarters and remove the central part (the stem’s axis) like you would when cutting apples. Scoop the tomatoes’ pulpy interior out, then chop. (Removing the sloppy interior keeps the guacamole from becoming too wet and salsa-y.)
3. Chop the cilantro. I like to use about 1/2 cup (unpacked).
4. Squeeze the lime and splash the ingredients with its juice. Sprinkle a bit of salt on top.
5. Stir, but be sure not to purée the mixture (unless you prefer it that way).
6. Give it a taste. If it needs more lime juice or salt, add it in now and finish it off with a final stir.
7. Serve, at room temperature or chilled, with tortilla chips.

The resulting guacamole was stellar–easily some of the freshest and best I’ve had. (Although I used pre-minced jar garlic. Lazy!) I whipped up another batch for a photo shoot. I used a red instead of white onion, lemon juice instead of lime, and unfortunately had no more cilantro to toss in. (I’d stick with the original recipe, in terms of taste.) So much guac; what to do with it all?!

:: Bibliography ::

• Swanson, Heidi. A Twist on Guacamole Recipe. 101 Cookbooks. http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/a-twist-on-guacamole-recipe.html (5 May 2008).