MoPgh

Uf. The poster for The Mysteries of Pittsburgh is everywhere in NYC. They’re finally pushing it out to the masses.

The book was rubbish. Michael Chabon was clearly an outsider writing about a city he had only an imperfect understanding of–a city that he tried to transform into something it’s not.

I met a girl just Monday night – in NYC, not State College – who was introduced to me as “The Queen of Pittsburgh” before either the introducer or the introduced knew that I’m from Pittsburgh. (I was heartily reminded of Chabon, because both he and the girl claimed Pittsburgh as their own only because they went to college there.) I couldn’t help but laugh a bit at her expense; the hyperbole of her introduction coupled with her profound ignorance of the city was painful to witness.

Despite the poor source material and the fact that Sienna Miller (the bikini-clad, vacuous smiler, above, in case you didn’t know) talked some serious smack on Pittsburgh, I’ll probably go see it. There should at least be some great, familiar views of the city.

Image via The Mysteries of Pittsburgh Poster – Sienna Miller – Empire Movies.

Hedgehog in the Fog (Ёжик в тумане)

A delightfully moody animated short, with a stylized sense of texture and stunningly eerie fog effects. I studied Russian folklore at Pitt, and heard it said that Hedgehog in the Fog was based on a folktale, but haven’t been able to locate the source. I’ve also heard tell that it was based on a children’s story by Sergei Kozlov, so perhaps it isn’t after all. (Kitson 46)

The atmospheric fog effects were achieved using a multi-plane animation stand, which facilitated that incredible sense of depth. The illustration below is from Kitson 47.

They don’t make ‘em like they used to.

:: Bibliography ::

• Batalov, Alexei, Maria Vinogradova, and Vyacheslav Nevinniy, Ёжик в тумане (Hedgehog in the Fog). Directed by Yuriy B. Norshteyn, 1975. Moscow, Russia: Soyuzmultfilm. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRsXU4Q6a0Q (16 February 2009).
• Kitson, Clare. Yuri Norstein and Tale of Tales: An Animator’s Journey. Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 2005. Pages 46, 47. http://books.google.com/books?id=JDs2_qSWy7EC (16 February 2009).

For pleasure, or politeness.

Museum Crawl

I’ve been haunting Pittsburgh museums a lot lately. My favorite thing to do is get a pass to the Museum of Natural History on my lunch break and just stroll through the Hillman Hall of Minerals & Gems. That exhibit, however, will be closing soon so they can cycle new material in. I guess I’ll finally have to man up and see Dinosaurs in Their Time: T. rex vs. T. rex. The revamped exhibit has attained an almost mythic status in my mind due to my love of the original and the additional T. rex, and I’m afraid I won’t like the new version. (I have peeked on the ‘net, though. Check out the rockin’, high-resolution press photos here. Total eye candy and desktop wallpaper fodder!)

It seems like everything is aimed at kids these days in most museums, a problem that was made explicit by my recent trip to the Carnegie Science Center. If little brats can’t fondle, slurp, and sniff an exhibit the museum isn’t interested. (And honestly, it’s all about engineering anyways–the practical application of technology. Not really pure science.)

Against my better judgment I also went to see the Science Center’s Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition. Just like Bodies, it was all sensationalism and spectacle. Instead of discussing something scientific, like how the ship sank, how the artifacts survived, or how the artifacts were recovered, the exhibit instead focused on a narrative of the ship sinking and personal stories. I was even given a boarding pass, and was cheerily encouraged to “see if you survive the voyage”. Jacques Heath Futrelle, whose “boarding pass” I was given, died, although his wife survived. I thought it was in very poor taste the way children and adults alike ran to the roster board at the end of the exhibit to “see if I survived”. (Life-size replicas of rooms from the ship further encouraged this role-playing.) Even if it was intended as a sobering activity, it sure didn’t turn out that way.

I did, however, enjoy The Alps, an Omnimax feature chronicling John Harlin III’s attempt to climb the north face of the Eiger. Although it wasn’t brilliantly constructed or particularly illuminating in terms of geology, climatology, or mountaineering, the footage of the Swiss Alps was stunningly beautiful. They also used a bunch of Queen’s songs for the soundtrack, which I was more than pleasantly surprised by.

If I don’t make it to Mars, perhaps I can make it to the Alps.

On a related IMAX note, I saw The Dark Knight and though it was terrible, although not worse than Batman Begins. Poor editing and pacing (save in the action sequences, of course!), a flat and uninteresting Batman (par for the live-action course), a claptrap, bombastic, and ultimately trite set of characters’ motivations (I’m looking at you, agents of chaos), and finally a Ledger performance that didn’t live up to hype. Some of the method acting on Ledger’s part was just terrible. All that tongue wagging? Honestly!

:: Bibliography ::

• Franzos, Joshua (photographer). 17 June 2008. Staff Preview Day for Phase Two of Dinosaurs in Their Time: T. rex vs. T. rex . Carnegie Museum of Natural History. http://www.carnegiemnh.org/news/08-apr-jun/061708preview.htm (28 August 2008).

Mother of Sighs sets her sights on Natalie Portman?

Natalie Portman is cute as a button, and there is nothing I would like to see more than her being ravaged by a coven of violent, depraved witches! According to BloodyDisgusting.com, rumor has it Portman may star in the remake of Dario Argento’s supernatural horror film Suspiria.

Probably Argento’s best known work, Suspiria was the first film from his recently concluded Three Mothers trilogy. It is a stylized masterpiece, second only to his giallo that became an archetype for the subgenre: Profondo Rosso (in English, Deep Red). Thematically, Suspiria addresses memory, fascism, and sight.

Suspiria is stylistically typified by:

• the bold use of color, especially primary colors (see above)
• elaborate setpieces for each murder
• the confusion of spatial logic
• fairy tale narrative conventions (as identified by Max Lüthi: one-dimensionality, depthlessness, and abstract style)
• its progressive rock score by Goblin

Suspiria is ripe for being remade. In typical Italian fashion, some set designs of the original were outlandish and haven’t aged well. The film also has technical problems, such as the fact that much of the film was dubbed. (I’ve heard it argued that this increases the strange, fairy-tale-like nature of the film. I just think it’s sloppy.) Also, while the first setpiece in the film is undeniably masterful in its viciousness (see below), it becomes the highlight of the film.

The final setpiece, in which the protagonist confronts the agèd Mater Suspiriorum, falls flat. (The Mother of Sighs, in very poor costume make-up, looks and sounds more like a deranged nursing home patient rather than a magically formidable witch.) The last time I saw Suspiria was on February 10, 2007 at the Oaks Theater. (I lent my DVD of it, won at the February screening by my sister, to a friend… who moved to NYC.) Honestly, the audience did as much laughing as they did screaming.

:: Bibliography ::

• Mackenzie , Michael. “Suspiria: Definitive Edition.” DVD Times, 31 October 2007. http://www.dvdtimes.co.uk/content.php?contentid=66235 (6 August 2008).
• MrDisgusting. “Rumor: Natalie Portman to Topline ‘Suspiria’ Remake?” BloodyDisgusting.com, 5 August 2008. http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/13203 (6 August 2008).

:: Further Reading ::

• Lüthi, Max. The European Folktale: Form and Nature. Translations in folklore studies. Philadelphia: Institute for the Study of Human Issues, 1982. (Chapters 1-3 discuss fairy tale conventions.)

French horror is taking over

It seems that some of the best horror films coming out these days – the ones willing to take risks and aren’t as concerned with bankable formulas – are French. The one I’m currently following with rapt attention is Martyrs, directed by Pascal Laugier. It looks very dark, in terms of thematic material.

Some French films I’ve been pleasantly surprised by in the past include: À l’intérieur (Inside), a hyper-violent film that evolves from a subdued home-invasion flick into a theatrical gorefest. Ils (Them), another, clever home-invasion flick with (dare I say it?) endearing protagonists. (This one is constantly compared to The Strangers, and is, in my opinion, infinitely superior.) Haute Tension (High Tension), a bizarre psychology-driven slasher.

Watchmen trailer reaction

The new Watchmen trailer can be viewed here: Empire: Movie News or below (but who knows for how long). Now, I am not fiercely defensive of the original comic (like I was for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen), but I honestly hope this trailer isn’t indicative of the final film.

What the hell is up with all that slow motion? And two of the shots are nearly identical: the Silk Spectre and Nite Owl touching down. I don’t want that kind of paralleling unless it’s accomplishing something, enriching the narrative, not just because it looks cool to see people land jumps in slow motion.

Also, the special effects aren’t up to snuff. The liquid physics when the craft leaves the water, which sheets off? Honestly, they might as well have animated it in à la Song of the South and Mary Poppins. It’s the 21st century; I refuse to tolerate shoddy, distractingly poor special effects. (Are those computer generated underpants they’ve slapped on Dr. Manhattan?!?)

Finally, where is the highly cerebral discourse and “loaded” frames that made everyone adore the graphic novel? This is nothing but a montage of actions sequences and effects shots (like Snyder’s deuce of a sophomore movie, 300). It looks like a music video or commercial, not footage pulled from a film.

I will say that the costume design is rather good, the actress who is playing Silk Spectre is a cutie, and the film’s color palette is pleasing to the eye. (And I fully understand that this was probably edited to appeal to a mass audience that knows nothing of Watchmen.)