Apparently there’s a type of chivalry that I haven’t heard about, because Kylie just received the Order of the British Empire.

Whatever. X was pretty damn awesome.

:: Bibbliography ::

• Associated Press. “Kylie Minogue Honored At Buckingham Palace.” CBS News, 3 July 2008. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/07/03/ap/entertainment/main4229870.shtml (6 July 2008).

• “Kylie gets an OBE at the Palace.” BBC - NewsBeat, 3 July 2008. http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/entertainment/newsid_7488000/7488089.stm (6 July 2008).

]]> http://libraridan.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/you-earned-it-girl/feed/ Librari[d]an Australian singer Kylie Minogue, right, is seen at Buckingham Palace, London, receiving her OBE from Britain\'s Prince of Wales left, for services to music, Thursday July 3, 2008. (AP Photo/Martin Keene, PA) Minogue w/her medal. http://libraridan.wordpress.com/2008/07/05/new-york-times-fawns-over-pittsburgh-something-fierce/ http://libraridan.wordpress.com/2008/07/05/new-york-times-fawns-over-pittsburgh-something-fierce/#comments Sat, 05 Jul 2008 07:20:26 +0000 Librari[d]an http://libraridan.wordpress.com/?p=239

The travel section of The New York Times just published a really odious article entitled “36 Hours in Pittsburgh” by Jeff Schlegel. The first line is laughable: “PITTSBURGH has undergone a striking renaissance from a down-and-out smokestack to a gleaming cultural oasis.” (Schlegel)

All right, stop right there, buddy. I know you’re a liar, because I would never trust any New Yorker who calls the ‘burgh a “gleaming cultural oasis” without scoffing and rolling their eyes. That is a lie, no matter how many times you drop proper nouns like The Andy Warhol Museum, Mexican War Streets, BrilloBox, or Mattress Factory. Pittsburgh does have a lot to offer and it is a sort of a cultural center for the region, but cultural oasis? No, ‘fraid not Mr. Schlegel, unless you’re using that term and “renaissance” in a very loose manner.

Downtown Pittsburgh as seen from the banks of the Allegheny on the city’s NorthSide.

Most livable city? Oh really?

So you’ve heard time and again that Pittsburgh is amazingly livable; the most livable for 2007, in fact, according to the Places Rated Almanac. (Majors) Crime rates that aren’t too bad, it’s a cheap city to live in, it has excellent hospital systems, several prestigious universities, etc. Well did you know that our city has 768 million dollars in debt? (Blazina) That the police have to use tanks - yes… TANKS - to patrol Homewood (a very urban, very ethnically black neighborhood) and a few other impoverished neighborhoods in the city? (Deitch) That our public transit system, once one of the best and most extensive in the nation (at number 15), is falling into shambles? (Grata) That the casino our citizens fought tooth and nail to oppose will still be built on the NorthSide? That the popular “Waterfront” shopping “district” has become nothing more than a glorified strip mall?

Pittsburgh is a great city to live in if you’ve money, if you’re white, and if you’re willing to wink at a whole boatload of problems (social, economic, and so on) that a city this size just shouldn’t have. I don’t think tourism or gentrification is going to solve these problems. There are reasons why Uptown is a ghost town, why the Urban Redevelopment Authority has a dozen main streets to revitalize. (Is your memory so short that you don’t remember East Carson Street as the boarded-up wasteland it once was?)

Don’t get me wrong, Pittsburgh is wonderful despite these and other problems. But it isn’t because of a handful of art galleries, restaurants, and tourist traps. It’s something a lot more substantial, less transient and ephemeral, than the cultural tourism Schlegel suggests. Although they are hokey and rather Romanticized, I would suggest watching Rick Sebak’s documentaries on Pittsburgh - and not reading something like Michael Chabon’s Mysteries of Pittsburgh - to begin to understand exactly what that is. (You can get these suckers for free on public access television or through interlibrary loan.)

:: Bibliography ::

• Blazina, Ed. “Ravenstahl endorses Pittsburgh-Allegheny County merger.” The Pittsburgh Post Gazette, 3 April 2008. http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08094/870250-100.stm (5 July 2008).

• Deitch, Charlie. “Military Police.” Pittsburgh City Paper, 27 March 2007. http://www.pittsburghcitypaper.ws/gyrobase/Content?oid=24549 (5 July 2008).

• Grata, Joe. “Port Authority transit cutbacks are biggest in history.” The Pittsburgh Post Gazette, 4 January 2007. http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07004/751189-147.stm (5 July 2008).

• Majors, Dan. “Pittsburgh rated ‘most livable’ once again.” The Pittsburgh Post Gazette, 26 April 2007. http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07116/781162-53.stm (5 July 2008).

• Schlegel, Jeff. “36 Hours in Pittsburgh.” The New York Times, 6 July 2008. http://travel.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/travel/06hours.html (5 July 2008).

:: Further reading ::

• “How now brown town?” The Economist, 14 September 2006. http://www.economist.com/world/na/displaystory.cfm?story_id=7914950 (5 July 2008). (Note: No author listed.)

I’m enjoying myself!

I have finally made my decision for this coming election and the answer to my dilemma was simple: Oprah. Now that I look back on the months of pining over my choice for president I realize that she was the only real option, to my mind.

But why should you write in Oprah for president? I think the answers are self evident.

1. Tenacious - If you’ve seen Oprah’s show you know that she is firm, but kind. When she has assumed an educated, ideologically sound position on an argument she will not be swayed by inferior arguments, subversive rhetoric, or logical fallacies. Her mind is a veritable bear trap working toward love and justice!
2. Change agent - It is clearly evident that Oprah is skilled at adapting. Throughout her long career she has moved with the times, her elegant fingers on the pulse of the nation. However, she does not merely react. Oprah can affect change, as evinced by her book club: “Publishers estimate that her power to sell a book is anywhere from 20 to 100 times that of any other media personality” according to BusinessWeek. Beauty. Power. She has it all.
3. Altruistic - Oprah is philanthropic at heart. She wants to give. She wants to give to you. It is, in my opinion, what fundamentally animates her. Look no further than this euphoric moment of selflessness: Case in point. She changed their lives. She brought them hope. Oprah has earned her leadership role after being tempered by the smithy of life. However, she doesn’t want others to have to pass through such a crucible.

So if you find that Obama and Clinton leave you feeling disappointed, go forth! Print out the above flier and plaster it (tastefully!) around your home, office, and third place! Proselytize, my Oprah bunnies!

Oprah for the President of the United States of America!

:: Bibliography ::

• BusinessWeek Editors. Why Oprah Opens Readers’ Wallets. BusinessWeek. http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/05_41/b3954059.htm (25 June 2008).
• White, Deborah. Obama Gets The Top-Tier Endorsements, But Do They Matter?. About.com. http://usliberals.about.com/b/2008/01/13/obama-gets-the-top-tier-endorsements-but-do-they-matter.htm (25 June 2008).

Nature never ceases to amaze me. Yesterday, as I was returning home from a mind-numbing shift at the library, I walked along the old rock wall on Parkman Ave. Now, this structure is a haven for animals; birds and bunnies nest in it. Interest piqued by rustling in the growth between the sidewalk and wall, I examined the rock surface for signs of life. Sure enough, something was alive and moving. It was snakes. Small, grayish-brown on the top, snowy white on the bottom snakes. I couldn’t believe the way they were just spilling out of a waist-high seam in the masonry. There were probably about fifteen or twenty in all, and I watched the diaspora, transfixed. (This morning I saw one dead in the street. Poor thing.)

The creepy-crawlies came tumbling out of this rock wall along Parkman Ave.

After gawking at the snakes for a good ten minutes I went on my merry way… Only to be bombarded a bit further down the road by a shower of blackberries! The sidewalk was littered with them, some stepped on, some whole. Looking up, I saw that a blackberry bush atop the wall that had grown out and over the ledge — laden with ripe berries — some twenty feet above my head.

This locked gate and stairwell are only feet from the blackberry “tree”.

Later, near the terminus of Schenely Farms Terrace at Bigelow, I came across another carpet of smashed and whole blackberries. However, this time I could not locate an aerial shrub. Where those berries came from is still a mystery.

As you can see to the right, in a photo by Dong-A Ilbo, there is no more powerful imagery than thousands of votives flickering amongst the illuminated skyscrapers of Seoul. On June 11, 2008, this stunning photo graced the cover of The New York Times.

What compelling idea could unite these concerned citizens under a common banner? Ending world hunger? A push for global human rights? A call for ethnic and racial tolerance?

Nope. These South Koreans are pissed about American beef imports. Yes, American beef imports. Let me say it one more time, for emphasis: AMERICAN BEEF IMPORTS.

Now, the French will riot over anything, you name it: Bread, salt, ethnic tension, just because they are students, just because they are French. This is okay, because they are French and Parisians have a long and glorious history of rioting. (For an analogous American tradition, it’s kind of like rioting at Penn State’s Arts Fest. It just isn’t Arts Fest unless someone throws a flaming couch from a seventh-story apartment onto Beaver Ave, right?) So the French - and to a much lesser extent the students of Penn State - have earned their right to public spectacle. They go crazy, and the world may or may not respond. There’s an understanding. But what do our candlelit South Koreans think they’ll accomplish just by standing around? Do government policies get changed just by standing around?

Lets talk about economics. If you buy a bunch of candles and stand in the street, this will not really impact the importing of beef in your country. It will be a windfall for candlemakers and congest your city’s streets for several hours. You may get on the cover of The New York Times, but nothing will change. However, if you snuff out those candles, go home, and stop buying American beef things might. (The concern is over mad cow disease, so why the hell are they eating beef anyways?) It’s called boycotting; it’s what anyone with a lick of sense does when an issue can hinge on purchasing power.

I honestly have no patience for things like this. Get your stupid luminarias and stupid bodies out of the way and buy South Korean beef.

:: Bibliography ::

• Sang-Hun, Choe. “Korean Leader Considers Ways to Rework Government.” The New York Times, 11 June 2008. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/11/world/asia/11korea.html (21 June 2008).
• Ilbo, Dong-A. “Korean Leader Considers Ways to Rework Government.” The New York Times, 11 June 2008. http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2008/06/11/world/11korea.inline1.ready.html (21 June 2008).

I just saw The Strangers and honestly it’s a pretty solid film. How did this occur, with Liv Tyler as the heroine and a cast of models as the masked intruders? The answers are much (much much much) simpler than you’d imagine:

The strangers don’t have outlandish motives.

There was a time when an approximation of psychological realism in a murderer’s motivation was a breath of fresh air for horror, and has allowed films like Psycho to achieve canonical status. However, nowadays audiences feel either weighed down by too much psychology or cheated by motivations that tie up the film with a nice, neat ribbon. Rather than Freudian examinations of a killer’s life (for example, the lengthy scenes depicting Michael Meyers’ childhood in Rob Zombie’s reimagining of Halloween) or exotic psychological explanations (dissociative identity disorder in The Secret Window, Session 9, and countless others) they appreciate less complex motives.

Dissociative identity disorder (a.k.a. multiple personality disorder), popularized by Hitchcock’s Psycho, is not only trite, but lacking in realism. (”Real” cases of DID are quite rare).

The fact that the strangers are most likely “thrill killers” is understated, never articulated in the film. (When Kristen finally asks the baby-doll faced stranger why they’re victimizing them, the girl flatly and evasively responds “Because you were home.”) Compare this to Murder By Numbers, another film about kids who thrill kill, and you can see how a minimal focus on character motivation results in a tighter, creepier, and less clichéd narrative.

The actors are never required to display any emotional range.

The Strangers has only the sparest of narratives: James and Kristen arrive home after a party where Kristen rejected his marriage proposal. Strangers start to terrorize them. James accidentally shoots his buddy. Strangers continue to terrorize them. James admits that he lied about his father taking him hunting. Strangers overpower and kill them. So what are the emotions that are asked of Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman? Sadness, fear, anguish/regret. Pretty easy fare, considering how limited the dialog (much of which is delivered into mobile phones or vintage radios) is. They only have to look sullen or alternately terrified.

The really complex emotional work, when James realizes he has killed his best friend, is neatly avoided by focusing on Liv Tyler’s character’s imploring “What? James, what?” and James’ back (no joke). At the end, when the two realize that the strangers are really going to kill them, the scene is surprisingly brief and revolves more around the diamond wedding band Kristen decided to wear than their professions of love to one another. (Good idea, Liv. Let the rock do the acting for you!)

So why do these characters work? The answer is that James and Kristen are stand-ins for audience members: white, boring, middle class people with mundane interpersonal relationship problems. Also, a sense of realism is achieved when audiences don’t get the whole story in a few hours: I have included the fact that James lied about his relationship with his father for this very reason. It is one of the few overtures toward character development that are made in the film, and that’s what most of this stuff is, just overtures. All we really need are hints that these characters have emotions and inner lives beyond the few hours the audience spends with them. Beyond that, any explicit details of their lives clash with an audience members’ ability to identify with them.

Bryan Bertino, the writer/director, avoided stale subgenres.

Virtually every review of The Strangers mentions how it is not a splatter film (charmingly referred to as “torture porn” by non-professional reviewers) and how this simple fact is refreshing. When the horror genre is overly permeated with certain stock styles or narratives (like J-horror ghost stories) audiences swing like a pendulum to something different (in this case, tension). So it’s not that The Strangers is a masterpiece of suspense, but rather that it is light on gore and doesn’t have a 12 year-old female ghost with long, dark hair.

The Strangers is unremarkable for the most part. However, there are some redeeming elements to the film. It is interesting to see that Bertino and co. have accomplished a few goals in terms of cinematography, sound, and pacing:

1. The framing of several shots is rather impressive. I’m thinking specifically of one instance (pictured in a publicity photo to the right) where Liv Tyler is crawling through the back yard and the highly kinetic camera (something I usually deplore, but which in this case beautifully masks the impending jump scare) pulls out and pans up slightly to reveal one of the female strangers.

2. The soundtrack, diegetic and non-diegetic, is rather well done. One of my favorite parts was when the dissonance of a skipping record was put to good use as a jarring, disorienting device. (This isn’t exactly original, but the execution was spot on.) The only thing I felt it lacked were music cues when the strangers appear (à la the original Halloween) to heighten the mood. The filmmakers probably felt this would be over doing it, but I think when used discriminatingly such cues could really have enhanced the strangers’ appearances toward the end film.

3. Tension scenes are remarkably long, with the strangers walking into the background of the frame for extended periods of time. This in itself isn’t really impressive. What I was struck by was how Bertino was able to sustain suspense over these long periods of time, relying heavily on horror conventions (shadow and focus) but also less-used devices to do so. For example, when the male, bag-headed stranger first appears behind Kristen (who is in the kitchen) from a hallway, Bertino allows the camera to move away from the stranger and out of the shot. Although audiences can quite literally not see him, they still have a palpable sense that his menacing presence is still there. Thus, when the camera returns to the space that the stranger occupied, audiences hold their breath waiting for Kristen’s unwitting discovery of the stranger.

So, The Strangers did a few things right, but when the film didn’t do anything wrong it basically didn’t do much. Do I like it? I enjoyed watching it, but I’d like Bertino’s next film to have more substance.

:: Bibliography ::

• CelebrityWonder.com. The Strangers production picture. CelebrityWonder.com. http://www.celebritywonder.com/movie-pictures/2008_The_Strangers/002.html (18 June 2008).
• Emerson, Jim. Close-Ups: A free-association dream sequence. Scanners. http://blogs.suntimes.com/scanners/2007/10/closeups_a_freeassociation_min.html (18 June 2008).

Check out this video of a guy that made his own roller coaster. I prefer mine in amusement parks that have a large staff, deep pockets, and hefty insurance policies, although I guess that doesn’t make for much of a thrill ride.

Now all I have to do is coerce my friends (specifically Brian) into going to Kennywood with me. I haven’t been there since the Spaniards took it over, and would like to make sure it has retained its Western Pennsylvanian integrity. For those of you not familiar with Kennywood, it’s an amusement park with several excellent roller coasters (The Racer, Jack Rabbit, Thunderbolt, and Steel Phantom/Phantom’s Revenge) that are renowned for exploiting the park’s natural topography (hills, gullies, etc.) to great effect.

…seriously warped my brain as a kid. From my second favorite Batman movie (Batman Returns), my favorite Batman villainess (Pfeiffer’s Catwoman):

Skin-tight black rubber and wet silicone? Uf!

This 1909 design for Pitt’s campus, inspired by the acropoleis of antiquity, is remarkably beautiful, as you can see from this huge photo from Pitt’s digital library. (Not a joke, click for amazing architectural hugeness.)

They only completed four of the buildings from the plan: Thaw Hall, Pennsylvania Hall, State Hall, and the Mineral Industries Building. I believe only Thaw and Mineral Industries are still extant. However, the latter is relatively hidden (and possibly renamed) while the former has been mutilated beyond recognition. The plan was abandoned because the new chancellor wanted a massive, phallic Cathedral of Learning instead. (What a nimrod!) Check out more Pitt acropolis-related photos here.

I had hoped to make a lengthy, uber-informative post about this missed opportunity, but don’t think I’ll get around to it. So here is a limerick I composed instead!

The Belated Lament for Messieurs P&H

Back in the day,
in Pittsburgh, PA,
before the Cathedral of Learning,
Palmer and Hornbostel
designed halls ‘n’ hostels;
their élan - fo’ sho’ - it was burning.

To be placed in Pittsburgh’s metropolis,
they fashioned a Greco-Roman acropolis,
four buildings, completed,
then their project, defeated,
the abandonment sure was dolorous. =(

Bibliography:
University of Pittsburgh Digital Research Library. Full Record for University of Pittsburgh Archives (ASC): ACRP01.UA. Univeristy of Pittsburgh. 2 June 2008.