Librari[d]an

There’s nothing quite like refining a recipe you already know and love. It’s the same type of pleasure that you get after crafting a masterful sentence. The recipe for Confetti Bites (known in my household as “Veggie Pizza”) is delicious. However, I found myself constantly thinking about what I could change to make it healthier.

I recently took my highly edited version of this recipe to a potluck, and although it didn’t stand out among the many excellent dishes, everyone was well pleased. (I had to compete against homemade pasta and cheesecake! Gone are the simple days when my culinary skills wowed the entirety of the Stacks department.)

:: Hummus and veggie squares ::

1 Container garlic hummus
2 Eight ounce packages of refrigerated crescent rolls
Salad Supreme
Basil
Chopped vegetables (carrots, red peppers, broccoli, cauliflower)

1. Press the contents of each crescent roll package onto a 15×10x1″ baking sheet to form crust. (No need to grease the sheet.)
2. Bake in a 350° F oven for 12-15 min. (They burn easily. Be vigilant.)
3. Spread hummus over the cooled crust.
4. Top with: Salad Supreme, basil, chopped vegetables.

I used Tribe brand hummus, but I think a more finely puréed one, such as Sabra, might taste better. (I had tried to make my own, but alas, it wasn’t very good.) It may also be advisable to experiment with a plain or flavored hummus if you plan on changing the vegetables. I chose these based on color, then taste. Other flavors may require a slightly different spread.

In the future, I’m going to try mushing the crescent roll dough into a ball and rolling it out. Hopefully this will prevent the final crust from breaking along the dough’s original perforated lines (despite my efforts to blend the dough into one mass on the sheet).

Note: Salad Supreme (and most likely the crescent roll dough) is not vegan; it contains Romano cheese. To create a vegan substitute mix: salt, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, paprika, celery seeds, garlic powder, black pepper, and red pepper. (You’re on your own when it comes to making a vegan crust!)

What is this!? Pace yourself, man! Not too many recipes at once! Actually, I plan on adding recipes as I make them. Just makes the most sense. So. What is obscene about this pizza dough? Well, it never turns out the same twice. Not ever! That makes it obscenely dynamic and interesting. But the results are always scrumptious, even when I put so many spices on that it tanks my sisters’ stomaches.

:: Jen and Kate’s Mystery Pizza Dough ::

2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast (or just a package, if you don’t feel like measuring)
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar (or cane sugar)
1 1/2 cups warm water
1 teaspoon salt (I use less)
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 1/3 cups flour

1. In a large bowl, dissolve the yeast and brown sugar in the water, and let sit for 10 minutes. (If the water it too hot or too cold the yeast won’t metabolize the sugar, so be careful.)

2. Stir the salt and oil into the yeast solution. Mix in 2 1/2 cups of the flour. (Use any type of flour you want. I have had excellent results with all-purpose, unbleached, whole-wheat, and even graham flour.) Add spices to the dough if you’re feeling bold and forward!

3. Turn the dough out onto a clean, well floured surface and knead in a bit more flour until the dough is no longer sticky. Place the dough into a bowl sprayed with non-stick cooking spray and cover with a cloth. Let the dough rise approximately one hour. (A warm and humid place is best. Try putting it on top of the stove as the oven preheats.)

4. Top with your favorite pizza sauce and fixings. This recipe should make two substantial pizzas. (I like to use meatless spaghetti sauce that’s low in sodium. As for fixings, experiment. One of my favorite combinations is white onion and chick peas!)

4. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit/220 degrees Celsius. If you are using a pan/baking sheet rather than a pizza stone, be sure to spray it with non-stick cooking spray. Bake the pizza until the cheese and crust are done to your liking (about 15 to 20 minutes).

I have cut a lot of the useless, time-wasting steps out of this recipe. (I like to keep things simple, but not in a reductive way–like Bush’s State of the Union a few hours ago. Although, I did like the way he spit out the second part of this sentence: “If we fail to pass this agreement, we will embolden the purveyors of false populism in our hemisphere.”)

But yeah, that hour for the dough to rise still turns some people’s screws. I find it easy to deal with, especially if you have the foresight to plan your evening. (“Company at the door? Why, I just happen to have pizza dough ready to be garnished and consumed!”) Also, if your friends are over, enlist their help in making the dough first, then socialize, then complete the recipe and feast.

:: Bibliography ::

Jen probably got this sucker from the internet. Everyone’s taking credit for it, look.

A little sleep deprivation is all it takes for me to feel like my life has become the last two reels of a David Lynch film. I’m not sure if I’m just hyper sensitive to psychoanalytic images, but I think something good might be going down.

Recently, when I’ve been walking home on Bigelow, I’ve passed some brush where a flock of robins seems to be wintering. (Are robins a permanent resident throughout their range?) They’ve always been very silent, very still. It was eerie, having seven or eight birds within arm’s reach, their tiny black eyes reflecting no light in the katabatic darkness.

But today, at the corner of Bigelow and Center, a main had broken and water forced its way up to the surface, cracking the asphalt as if it were the crust of a rising loaf of bread. Catharsis, or the prelude to my recurring nightmare about imminent death in a culvert? Now I’m forced to think the former, as the robins were very much alive and active in the halflight made by the city light and low-hanging mists.

I don’t believe in any of this phooey anyway.