Librari[d]an

I really, really enjoy checking out how people find my blog and should start keeping track of the funny, bizarre, and repellent search strings they employ. So far, most people who get to my blog are connecting with my more image and recipe based posts.

Current event posts also seem to have staying power, as well as anything that has some sexual wording in it (no matter how distant). For example, using the word “sexual” has just ensured that this post will be viewed repeatedly. Note at the right how some depraved sexual deviant got to my blog just today by searching for “via veloso rape scenes”. (Poor Via!) I hope my post that discussed the rape scene in Hitchcock’s Marnie didn’t titillate the social deviant! ;-)

It’s also interesting to see how users punctuate their searches, as if adding symbols and operators [all over] the -place +will (return better) “results” ‘for and some and strange and reason’. Hahaha! Information literacy be damned, let’s just make things look tech-ish and Boolean for no discernible reason at all!

In conclusion, I would like to tell the person who plugged “dsytopic pittsburgh” into a search engine that I share your interest, and would like you to watch George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead for this very reason. (There is one particularly excellent, if computer-generated, shot of the Point all dystopia’d out.) Or, if you’d like to see some real dystopia, I’d suggest South Oakland (south of the boulevard) on a Saturday morning. A wasteland, that!

I can’t stop thinking about fair weather, cycling, applying for jobs, ALA in Anaheim, and moving away from Pittsburgh. Not that I’m down on Pittsburgh–just ready for an adventure. (Or, if need be, a misadventure!) Nick called his desire to constantly move wanderlust. I, on the other hand, have always felt a dialectic need for and need to tear myself away from the familiar, the routine. It’s plagued me these past few years, having always found reasons to come back to or stay in Pittsburgh.

I’ve also realized that I am leading a life without music. (Not really, actually. It just feels like it.) Before the ‘pod broke, during my long walks - and occasionally bicycle rides (I know, unsafe!) - I would immerse myself in tunes nouveau and old. I think it’s time to make a financially unsound decision and get another.

This approximate recipe, which I gleaned from the gray, wet recipe book my Mom (pictured) calls a brain, sums up the amazing summer and early fall I had last year. I am resolved that it will be the last of my staple recipes that I post. From here on out, everything will be neuf.

:: Rene’s Vegan Bruschetta ::

Tomatoes
Onions (white)
Olive oil
Salt and Pepper
Basil
Oregano
Garlic (minced)

Directions are simple: Chop the tomatoes and onions and then throw everything in a bowl using amounts that suit your palate. Serve atop rounds of freshly toasted bread (baguette for a snack/appetizer, or something larger for a main course). You may want to brush the rounds with olive oil or put butter on them (if you’re not concerned about dietary restrictions).

Things to consider:

• If you find that this recipe yields bruschetta that’s too wet, remove and discard some (or all) of the tomatoes’ pulpy interiors.
• The type of tomato used can change how this recipe tastes dramatically.
• If you over-spice or put in too much olive oil, just add more tomato until things even out.
• If you have a few “problem” tomatoes (disappointing in taste or color, only edible in part, not exactly at the peak of ripeness, etc.) you can hide them rather wonderfully in this recipe.

I have battled with hummus recipes since long before I acquired a food processor. Without even a mortar and pestle, I would toil over a mess of mashed chick peas –attempting to transmogrify them into something palatable (if not delicious). You name it, I tried it: Different brands, methodologies, recipes, etc. One of my potluck efforts (the hummus and veggie squares) was very nearly undermined by disastrous hummus efforts. So when Erin over at Paper Rose Designs sent her own recipe my way, I was excited but skeptical.

I knew after the first pulse of my Cuisinart that the recipe was perfect. My hummus was too dry; I was skimping on olive oil/tahini, water, and lemon juice. And to my delight, I found that this recipe is infinitely adaptable. Want something a bit more spreadable? More water and lemon juice. Prefer the taste of olive oil to tahini? Go ahead and substitute or fiddle with the ratio of the two. Tweak the recipe to your taste. I can’t wait to try black bean hummus (at Andy’s suggestion) and locate the strange bread product in the Moroccan hummus that Usman told me about.

:: Erin’s Adventure Hummus ::

5 cloves garlic (2 cloves if using elephant garlic)
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 14-oz. can of chickpeas, drained
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup tahini
1 teaspoon salt
cumin and parsley to taste

1. Blend in a food processor.

2. Refrigerate before serving.

I use minced garlic in the jar, more lemon juice, and put in a bit of the lemon’s pulp (thinking about zest, instead). Erin suggests using the chickpea liquid rather than water, but I prefer the lighter taste that water achieves. If you’d like the hummus to look fancy, serve it on a flat plate, garnish it with fresh parsley and cumin (rather than blending it in), and top with a bit of olive oil. The Middle Eastern restaurant that I swore off a few months ago put some delicious pickles atop their hummus plate. If you know what kind of pickle they are, let me know! (I may have to do some reconnaissance work.)

Having recently sworn off my favorite Middle Eastern restaurant, I thought it was about time to rev up my fancy new Cuisinart for another misadventure. Two eggplants and a lemon later, I was ready to embark on some culinary Orientalism. (According to Liz, I was caught on film returning from the store à vélo.) Not knowing where to look for rockin’ recipes - dearest kittee didn’t have anything on her website or blog and I have not yet signed up for Epicurious - I settled on an ingredient list from [the internet?] and a methodology supplied by my Food Network arch-nemesis: Rachael Ray.

:: Baba ghanoush ::

1 eggplant
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons sesame tahini
2 tablespoons fresh basil
1 (4 ounce) can green chili peppers
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 pinch ground cumin
1 tablespoon chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
salt and pepper to taste

1. Preheat the oven to 400°F. Prick the eggplants all over with a fork and place on a baking sheet.

2. Bake, flipping once, until skin shrivels and flesh softens, about 35 minutes. Let cool, about a half-hour or so. Remove and discard the stems and skin. Cut eggplant into large chunks and drain any excess liquid.

3. Using a food processor, puree the eggplant, parsley, lemon juice, tahini, garlic, chili peppers, and olive oil. Season with salt and pepper and add more lemon juice to taste.

4. Transfer the baba ghanoush to another container and refrigerate.

Yeah, so I didn’t really follow the measures all that faithfully. I cut down on the amount of olive oil and tahini, eyeballed the spices using the cheap dry stuff, refused to add any salt, and doubled the eggplant. I also didn’t let it cool, because it was easier to get the skin off the piping hot eggplants.

Despite this, it turned out very nice. I was a bit heavy handed with the cumin, but other than that it tasted rather good.

Post script: I recently made Lisa’s sweet and spicy nuts and chocolate chip cookies without the chocolate chips. (I put a few walnuts on some instead of adding chips.) Because neither recipe resulted in a gastronomic cataclysm, they have been omitted from this cycle of recipes.

:: Bibliography ::

“Car Crimes Reported In Pittsburgh Neighborhood“. 4 February 2008. WPXI. Accessed 4 February 2008. <http://www.wpxi.com/news/15218029/detail.html>.

Pearson, Liz. Baba Ghanoush recipe - Every Day with Rachael Ray. June 2007. The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc. Accessed 4 February 2008. <http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/appetizer-side-dish-recipes/baba-ghanoush/article.html>.

What is this!? Pace yourself, man! Not too many recipes at once! Actually, I plan on adding recipes as I make them. Just makes the most sense. So. What is obscene about this pizza dough? Well, it never turns out the same twice. Not ever! That makes it obscenely dynamic and interesting. But the results are always scrumptious, even when I put so many spices on that it tanks my sisters’ stomaches.

:: Jen and Kate’s Mystery Pizza Dough ::

2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast (or just a package, if you don’t feel like measuring)
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar (or cane sugar)
1 1/2 cups warm water
1 teaspoon salt (I use less)
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 1/3 cups flour

1. In a large bowl, dissolve the yeast and brown sugar in the water, and let sit for 10 minutes. (If the water it too hot or too cold the yeast won’t metabolize the sugar, so be careful.)

2. Stir the salt and oil into the yeast solution. Mix in 2 1/2 cups of the flour. (Use any type of flour you want. I have had excellent results with all-purpose, unbleached, whole-wheat, and even graham flour.) Add spices to the dough if you’re feeling bold and forward!

3. Turn the dough out onto a clean, well floured surface and knead in a bit more flour until the dough is no longer sticky. Place the dough into a bowl sprayed with non-stick cooking spray and cover with a cloth. Let the dough rise approximately one hour. (A warm and humid place is best. Try putting it on top of the stove as the oven preheats.)

4. Top with your favorite pizza sauce and fixings. This recipe should make two substantial pizzas. (I like to use meatless spaghetti sauce that’s low in sodium. As for fixings, experiment. One of my favorite combinations is white onion and chick peas!)

4. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit/220 degrees Celsius. If you are using a pan/baking sheet rather than a pizza stone, be sure to spray it with non-stick cooking spray. Bake the pizza until the cheese and crust are done to your liking (about 15 to 20 minutes).

I have cut a lot of the useless, time-wasting steps out of this recipe. (I like to keep things simple, but not in a reductive way–like Bush’s State of the Union a few hours ago. Although, I did like the way he spit out the second part of this sentence: “If we fail to pass this agreement, we will embolden the purveyors of false populism in our hemisphere.”)

But yeah, that hour for the dough to rise still turns some people’s screws. I find it easy to deal with, especially if you have the foresight to plan your evening. (“Company at the door? Why, I just happen to have pizza dough ready to be garnished and consumed!”) Also, if your friends are over, enlist their help in making the dough first, then socialize, then complete the recipe and feast.

:: Bibliography ::

Jen probably got this sucker from the internet. Everyone’s taking credit for it, look.